A four-year-old girl was killed in a road rage incident this week which reminded me of the time my mother and I were chased around the mall parking lot by a similar madman, though thankfully he didn’t have a gun.
I was 13 or 14 years old and my mother was driving me to the mall to get a birthday present for my friend Kathy’s quinceañera. My mom changed lanes in preparation for the left turn into the mall parking lot about a hundred yards ahead of us. She must have unknowingly cut off someone behind us because a man in another car pulled up on our right and started screaming at us. In my memory his face is bright red, he’s shaking his fist, and his head is stuck out the window like a dog.
I’m not sure if I’d started using curse words yet at that age, but if I had my first thought would definitely have been, “What the fuck?” We weren’t sure what we’d done to provoke this kind of reaction. At this age the worst confrontations I’d ever had were the typical, minor bullying at school. I’d never been in a physical fight and still haven’t, so having someone scream at me like he wanted to kill me was a new and unwelcome experience.
My mom kept driving and made the left turn into the mall. The guy in the other car followed us, passed us on the left, and then stopped his car short in front of us, blocking our way. He got out of the car with a look on his face that made me think he might actually beat the crap out of us. I locked the doors and my mom switched the car into reverse so she could then turn right down the closest row of parking spaces. We made a big loop around the mall to the opposite side of the parking lot, at which point we seemed to have lost our pursuer.
My mom and I walked into the mall through a department store on the opposite side of the mall we’d actually wanted to enter on. As we walked through the store we saw not one, not two, but three mall security people staggered throughout the perfume counters and clothes racks. That made us believe mall security had seen the incident on their surveillance cameras and were prepared to diffuse the situation if the guy followed us into the store. I know mall cops are the butt of a lot of jokes, but I was glad they were there that day.
The fact that I remember this incident over 20 years later shows how terrifying it was. It still stands as the only car chase I’ve been involved in, and my mom made an excellent getaway driver. I sometimes wonder what caused that guy to feel like he needed to pursue a mother and daughter around the local mall. Did he have a bad day? A bad life? Did he feel guilty about it later, or did he rationalize the event in his favor? I don’t know. I’m just glad he didn’t have a handgun with him. Little Lilly Garcia was not so lucky, and now no one will ever be going to the mall to buy her a quinceañera gift.
Photo by MPD01605 / CC BY-SA 2.0
Amy Gramaglia says
October 24, 2015 at 7:18 pmSo sad that a little girl would lose her life in such a senseless act. It mystifies me why people go nuts over the smallest events these days.
Your Mom was a great getaway driver. Good job Mom!
Natalie says
October 25, 2015 at 7:04 amAs a fairly new driver, I once accidentally pulled out into a lane of cars that was going much faster than I anticipated, causing someone to have to brake pretty sharply. It was definitely my fault and it could have been dangerous. I accelerated as quickly as possible to get out of everyone’s way. At the next traffic light, the guy behind me got out of his car and stood beside my (closed) window and yelled at me as I sat there terrified and guilty. I was certainly in the wrong, but how did screaming at a teenage girl help?
Vickie says
October 27, 2015 at 9:17 amReally sad topic, and very scary, (but I enjoyed your story/post very much). Good lesson in what to do.
One of the earlier reports, I thought I understood that Lilly’s father had responded in someway that escalated the situation. That has not been in the later reports, so maybe it was wrong or I misunderstood. But that is a very good point – one never knows who will over react. So do not do anything that might further provoke.
And I wanted to add – how I feel in traffic is a good barometer for me of how I am doing. Doing well, I am not scared, I am not easily upset, I am not easily angered. Or doing well, I feel safe, I am patient, I am forgiving. If I have negative feelings while I am driving, I know I am on “overload” and I need to work on my life choices. I pay attention to how I feel in traffic because it is a good “emotional mirror” for me.
Vickie says
October 27, 2015 at 9:42 am@Vickie – and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Jennette Fulda says
October 27, 2015 at 12:59 pm@Vickie – Thanks!
KathleenC says
October 27, 2015 at 11:40 pmThere was a comedian (I can’t remember who now) who had this monologue about how we have turn signals, and brake lights, and all sorts of blinking and moving parts, but what we really need in cars is an “I’m sorry! I’m an idiot!” signal that we can flash whenever we accidentally do one of those common mistakes. Goodness knows I could use one sometimes!
Ali says
November 7, 2015 at 12:21 pmI used to work on a psych study that dealt with Impulsive Aggressive Disorder. The patient diaries contained all kinds of hair-raising accounts like your shopping mall story. So glad your mom kept her wits about her and did just the right thing- that sounds horrifying.
On a different topic, how is your headache? I read your book ages ago and was wondering about that recently.
Jennette Fulda says
November 7, 2015 at 3:42 pm@Ali – I still have the headache. It varies in intensity. Some days I don’t notice it at all and other days it keeps me on the couch all day.
Ali says
November 9, 2015 at 12:05 pm@Jennette Fulda – I’m so sorry. Hopefully people have at least stopped advising you on all the headache relief methods that, clearly, you haven’t tried yet. 🙂
Sheryl says
November 13, 2015 at 10:29 pm— I was backing out of a parking space, with an SUV on either side of me, so there was no way I could see. So I backed out VERY slowly, but some guy apparently thought I cut him off or blocked him or something, and he started following me, tapping my back bumper with his car. I got out my flip phone, which has no camera, but acted like I was holding it up and taking his photo — at that point he sped off. People behave like idiots is all I can say.
Anabanana says
November 17, 2015 at 10:11 pmOne of the amazing things about my recent trip to China was the absolute controlled chaos on the roads (lanes and lights are suggestions), and sidewalks may or may not have scooters, bikes, pedestrians, carts, etc. making their way. And, most notably no road rage that I saw even if folk cut in front of others. It was eye opening to someone who’s had aggressive drivers scare the daylight right out of them (luckily it wasn’t wet or warm).