Last fall the Democratic National Committee called asking me for money. They must have caught me in a good mood because I said, “Yeah, sure,” and shocked the hell out of the caller who sounded notably surprised. I must have been that one person out of a hundred who didn’t tell him where he could stick the Declaration of Independence. I don’t donate that much money to charity or causes, but the Democrats really did me a solid when they passed the Affordable Care Act, so I figured the least I could do was send them twenty bucks.
Of course, that donation meant I was immediately put on several Democratic mailing lists. They even sent me an official membership card, which I don’t think I’ve received for anything since I was a member of the Strawberry Shortcake fan club as a kid, and in that case the membership card was scented. I was not surprised that the Democrats had added me to their mailing list, but I am sort of surprised by how many “gifts” they keep sending me.
First there was the 2014 Commemorative Presidential Print…
..that came with a Certificate of Authenticity, as if I’d ordered something from the Franklin Mint.
Then there was a birthday card for the president, which I think I was supposed to sign and mail back with another donation, of course, like I was his grandma sending him a fiver.
They also sent me a picture of Obama and one of the dogs.
So many of these items have featured the presidential dogs, that I have to wonder if my twenty dollars secretly went to Bo and Sunny’s kibble fund. It is quite possible they have their own SuperPAC. More likely it’s because anyone standing next to a cute dog instantly becomes more likeable, even if you’re a cat person like me.
It hasn’t stopped yet either because this week I got a bumper sticker from the North Carolina Democrats, which I will not be putting on my car because I’m at an age where I care about my car’s trade-in value.
All of this leaves me wondering, at what point will the Democratic party spend so much money on postage and swag that they will have actually lost money on me? My curiosity is the main reason I have not asked to be removed from any of the mailing lists. I’m waiting to see what they will send me next. If they truly knew the way to my heart they’d send me candy, maybe some blue gummi jackasses. Then I could go around telling people to bite my ass in a totally patriotic way.
Natalie says
August 5, 2014 at 11:26 pmI have recently stopped financially supporting one cause I believe in because of the constant harassment for more money. Or it felt like harassment, anyway. Not just letters (no interesting free stuff, unfortunately) but also phone calls which I utterly detest. I asked to have a note put on my file to not call me (several times) and that worked for a while before it started up again. So I cancelled my regular payments to them.
I do quite like getting sets of Christmas cards from various charities I have never given money to, I give the cards to the kids to hand out at school. I’m not sure how I got on those lists, but as long as it’s just free cards once a year they’re welcome to keep sending them. Just don’t expect me to feel obligated over something I didn’t ask for.
Natalie says
August 5, 2014 at 11:28 pmOh, I forgot to say that my first ever job was cold-calling for a charity. I lasted into the third morning – I think a total of ten hours work. I got two donations in that time, not enough to pay my wages plus the phone bill! I don’t think the charity was sorry to see me go. Obviously didn’t have the right friendly/bullying/guilt-tripping manner the job needs.
Tracey from Melbourne AUS says
August 6, 2014 at 3:52 amMaybe it’ll be like Reader’s Digest – once they’ve got your name they never let you go. That “Presidential print” is well, sort of funny – it is like the Thomas Kincade collection from Franklin mint. I wonder if Australian political parties do the same – hope Tony Abbott doesn’t have a card with his photo on the front wearing his budgie smugglers…
Shirley @ gfe & All Gluten-Free Desserts says
August 6, 2014 at 6:56 pmI am quite certain that overall these types of tactics work for all sorts of fundraisers because of the feelings of guilt, obligation, happy mood, etc. Plus, there’s always that rare person who just hit the lottery or inherited money and gives beaucoup bucks. So, overall, they never lose money and all those mailings are tax deductible for them, right?
Shirley
Debbi says
August 7, 2014 at 2:15 pmWe’re on the same list. Except I’m voting for West Virginia Democrats, of course. I never want the swag to stop, I’m a campaign stuff hoarder.
Jessica @ Absurd, She Wrote says
August 8, 2014 at 9:23 pmI don’t like “stuff.” Cause then I just want to throw it away, but I feel guilty about wasting it, and then I’m irrationally annoyed with them sending it in the first place and putting me in this quandary.
That said, I like that picture of Obama and his dog.
Rebecca says
August 13, 2014 at 9:12 pm“most dedicated supporters”…doesn’t take much, does it?
It does make me sad, though, to think that one donation put you, apparently, in the front lines, when he has such dedicated opposition.
Oh, well. The dogs are cute!