Conferences beget swag. What is swag? Swag is typically anything given to you for free by a company in hopes of engendering goodwill and encouraging future sales of that company’s product. Swag is usually branded with the company’s name. When you go to conferences, particularly blogging conferences, it’s common for you to collect so much swag that it won’t fit in your suitcase. Thus, some of it gets left behind to engender goodwill (or more likely bad will) with the maid.

I’ve been to three BlogHer conferences, two FitBloggin‘s, and one Wordcamp, so I’ve been given a lot of swag over the years. I’m grateful for the companies that sponsor these events because without them the conferences wouldn’t be possible. That or we’d all have to pay $1000 for tickets. I’m glad they’re there and I’ve been more than happy to accept their free granola bars and plastic martini glasses over the years.

That said, sometimes people get a little nutty about swag. At a certain conference I shall not name it’s gotten more out of control every year until it now seems like a competition to find the most expensive piece of swag and flaunt it in front of everyone else. Sometimes I want to tell people to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. Free stuff is fun, sure, but can anyone name every piece of swag they got at a conference a year ago? A month ago? Oprah Winfrey said that even though people get really excited about her Favorite Things show, most of them won’t remember everything they got a year afterward. That’s why she chose to send her super-fans on a trip to Australia because she knew people would never forget the experience of that vacation. Memories are more precious than things. Strangely, I think that’s why it’s hard to throw out some things. You’re not attached to the object but you’re attached to the memories that come with it.

Even though it’s a lot of fun to get swag, how much swag do you actually use on a regular basis? I decided to look around my house and see what swag has managed to stick around in my life long after the vendor tables were folded up.

Please note: You can assume that any food I got was promptly gobbled up, or I took at least one bite before throwing it out, because that’s how I jelly roll. As such, it will not be listed, nor will any coupons I might have used to get a food item or other product (because I can’t remember them). I’m also not including anything I got at invitation-only corporate events or that were sent to me directly by companies, though there are several of those items I still use.

These are listed in no particular order other than the one I remembered them in:

1) Tiara: BlogHer 2009, Chicago

Ok, I don’t actually use this tiara. I abdicated my throne, so I’m no longer a queen, and a dried macaroni tiara would have been more suitable anyway. The tiara is designed for a child, so it doesn’t fit on my head comfortably either. (No big head jokes, please.) I got it at one of the BlogHer parties and now it sits on my bookshelf looking pretty. It’s not useful at all, but I dig it. Maybe there’s something to all that Disney princess bullshit after all. (This might not technically count as swag because it’s not branded and isn’t promoting any product that I know of, but it’s right up in my face everyday and I got it for free at a conference, so I’m including it.)

2) GreenLiteBites bowl: FitBloggin’ 2010, Baltimore

Roni gave Fitbloggin’ 2010 attendees these great bowls that advertise her GreeLiteBites recipe site. It came with a spoon that I confess I don’t use. Roni might want to stop reading here because I don’t think this was her intention for the bowl, but I use it mostly for ice cream. It smaller than the rest of my bowls so it keeps the portion size down and makes the serving look larger since it fills the whole bowl. It’s also really well made, not some plastic throwaway crap, which is another reason I’ve kept it.

3) Butterball pot holder: BlogHer 2007, Chicago

Everyone needs a potholder, right? (Except for helper robots and Superman.) This potholder isn’t particularly better or worse than any of my other potholders, but it’s still in my kitchen, so score one for Butterball! I have never used it when cooking a turkey though, and I doubt I ever will. Sorry, Butterball, but I’m not your demographic. Score one for resistance to repetitive ad messages!

4) BlogHer messenger bag: BlogHer 2008, San Francisco (?)

It’s not that this bag is spectacularly well made or bigger on the inside than the outside. It just fits over my shoulder really well when I’m on a bike. I used to use it to shuttle books back and forth from the library when I lived close to a library. Just goes to show practicality will win over glitz in the long run, at least with me.

5) Assorted notebooks: Various conferences

Give me a decent notebook and I’ll probably use it. I had a Wiley notebook that I used up that’s not pictured here, but was always easy to find because it was an intense neon green. The Shutter Sisters notebook is unlined, so I use it for client sketches and notes. The POM notebook I use as a food diary, but I have to admit I didn’t realize it was a POM notebook until I opened it up for this photo. I usually keep it open to record food entries. Note to POM: Next time brand the pages with your logo, too.

6) A million USB drives

Ok, not a million, but a lot more than I really need. I have almost a dozen, but the one I use the most is the 2 gigabyte New Balance one I got at FitBloggin’ 2010 because it’s the biggest. If you’re going to give out a jump drive, don’t skimp on the storage space! I will always, ALWAYS, prefer the one with the most storage space. You hear that you skimpy little 250mg AOL Body drive? That’s why you’re hidden in a box on my shelf and not traveling in my purse.

7) Michelin Man tire pressure gauge: BlogHer 2008, San Francisco

To be totally honest, I don’t think I’ve ever used the tire pressure gauge, but I do keep it in my dashboard compartment just in case. It also reminds me of the Stay-Puft marshmallow man, so how could I not eat love it?

8 ) New Balance headphones: FitBloggin’ 2011

I only got these headphones a few weeks ago, but I already know I will use them a lot. They are the headphones I have been searching for that combine the non-dorkyness of earbuds with little earloops to actually keep the earbuds in my ear. This is the second time New Balance has made my list, the only company to do so. Score one (or two) for the New Balance PR department!

9) HP Laptop Sticker: Blogher 2008, San Francisco

HP gave out big stickers they call SkinIts that go on the back of your laptop, instantly making it prettier and more easily identifiable. I don’t have a picture of mine because I recently gave that laptop to my mom, but I really did love it. Someone even complimented me on it at a coffee shop once!

My only real complaint is that the guy at the booth told me to see the other guy at the booth for help putting the sticker on because he was a real wizard at it. When I went to that guy he was like, “I’ve never applied one of these stickers in my life.” So, yes, a PR person LIED to me. LIED! I know you’re as shocked as I am.

That’s it.

So there you go. Six blog conferences and only nine pieces of swag have been integrated into my life. (Technically the notebooks and USB drives increase that number, but I’m lumping them together by category.) I don’t think I left anything out, but it’s possible I’ll see something in my apartment next week and think, “My doohicky from Whatsit Company! How could I forget my doohicky from Whatsit Company!”

Also, despite the branding I don’t think I’ve actually bought any of the products the swag in my life advertises. I used to buy New Balance shoes, but switched to a pair by Saucony because they better suit my pronation. Also, my old HP laptop had some issues (like freezing up when I tried to go on battery power), so cool sticker or not, I bought another brand laptop this year. Take from that what you will.

Of course, few people think they’re being affected by advertising. In reality we are all influenced by it despite ourselves. So I might actually be more inclined to buy Michelin tires next time, or eat a big bag of marshmallows in the car. Whatever.

Has any piece of swag integrated its way into your life? Are there any freebie items you have that you just couldn’t live without? Let me know!