I have a lot of photos of myself sitting in front of cake. I noticed this when I dug out my mother’s photos albums and boxes of unsorted prints looking for a good “before” photo earlier this year. “No wonder I was so fat. I was always eating cake!” I thought. Then I realized that, no, I wasn’t always eating cake. We just always took pictures of me on my birthday, at which we always ate cake.

These pictures do provide a good timeline of how I’ve aged over the years, and what my taste in pastries was at the time. So today, I give you a history of cake.

Age: 10

Wearing a corduroy jumper made by mother. I was currently obsessed with headbands. Looks like we got out the fancy metal plates for the occasion! I love how my hands are encircling the cake, as if to say, “Mine, all mine!”

Age: 14

Wearing my marching band T-shirt and about to devour a Tazmanian Devil cake.

Age: 15

Wearing one of those long t-shirts we used to tie in a knot on the side, or if you were feeling fancy you’d use a plastic t-shirt tie. No, it wasn’t in fashion at the time 🙂 Thank goodness it’s dark so you can’t see quite how frizzy my hair is.

Age: 16

Wearing one of the four plaid shirts I lived in at the time, even though grunge was on its way out. If I pre-dated these photos I could pretend I was trendy.

Age: 23

Wearing a Lane Bryant top, which was quite comfy but depressingly a size 24/26.

Age: 24

Down one gallbladder, but still able to digest high-fat ice cream cake. Weight, 372 pounds.

Age: 25

Finally decreasing in size, down to 260 pounds. Cake is noticeably smaller.

Age: 26

200 pounds! No longer obese. Let’s celebrate with cake!

Age: 27

At my lowest weight, 175 pounds. Am I smiling because of my size or because of the Oreo Blizzard cake? (Definitely because of the cake.)