“I need some caffeine,” my brother yawned as he climbed off the freshly purchased air mattress on my apartment floor. He opened my fridge door. He closed my fridge door. He stared at me in horror. “You don’t have sodas?”

“Um, no. Welcome to the crazy house,” I replied. This was coming from the woman who drank five canned diet sodas a day back in February and loved the sweet, fizzy poison. “I don’t think I have any caffeine in the house, except for some old tea bags. Technically the decaffeinated coffee has some caffeine, but you’ll have to drink a lot of it to get a buzz.”

“I can’t believe this,” he said. My poor brother had spent the previous day moving and needed the insane jolt of consciousness to the brain provided by caffeine if he was going to pack up the rest of his kitchen and closets today.

“Sorry,” I said. “I got rid of all the caffeine because of my headache.”

I don’t know whether essentially eliminating caffeine from my diet has helped decrease the intensity of my never-ending tension-type headache I’ve had since Februrary 18th. However, I don’t think it’s made it worse. So, bub-bye sodas. You were rather heavy to carry up the stairs anyway. I would never have gone off of sodas by choice, but now that I have a chronic illness, I’m living cleaner than I ever did before. I’m drinking…water. Water! I know! I’ve gone completely insane and I go to the bathroom a lot. I drink water and Crystal Lite and some diet flavored teas…and occasionally you can find me in line at Starbucks. But only for one hit of coffee a day. I said I “essentially” not “totally” eliminated caffeine. I tried going off of it completely and felt in perpetual need of nap time.

And still I have a headache. I know people who drink a lot and smoke a lot and they don’t have headaches (except early on certain mornings). I eat well and exercise and now I don’t even drink sodas and I always have a headache. This doesn’t seem fair. But at least I am off of soda, which I know is good for my teeth and bones and my general health, though I would never, ever have done this on my own. But forgive me if I feel like I need a nap.

ETA: By the way, I know you all mean well, but I’m going to start deleting comments with suggestions about what to do about my headaches. I’ve heard just about everything at this point, and hearing the same suggestions over and over again are just giving me another headache. So, be warned. And yes, that means you, not everyone else except you. Comments about caffeine, soda, and coffee are welcome.